Evil Emperor Zurg

This is just an application for future reference. It doesn't solidify me to RP the Evil Emperor Zurg in every instance, so this is more for people to get a feel of my style. If you don't like how I handle the Evil Emperor Zurg, then see if anyone else has a take you prefer.

Think of this as... my evil resume~!

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Name: "Do I have to spell it out, or shall this death ray currently pointed to your thick skull suffice?"

Age: "Oh, please. Not on the first date~! I get bashful, you know."

Species: "If evil was a species, then you'd already know."

Appearance: "Hmm... Tall, dark, and handsome. Yep, I think that's the full extent. Oh, and purple."

Personality: "I'm mean, irritable, and in no way will I be your little friend. If you want a lame-brain galactic overlord, then please proceed to place the barrel of this emergency blaster into your mouth and kindly squeeze the trigger. Really, you would be doing the galaxy a favour."

Background: "What is with these invasive questions? Does your mother know that you are this demanding with your... eh, interviewers? It's rude!"

Skills and Abilities: "Oh, where to start! Evil, smart, impressively fit, can crush skulls with my bare hands, not incompetent, superb business sense, own a vast robotic army of mass destruction, and - oh, did I already mention evil? Let's mention it again! One can never have too much evil, aha~!"

Weaknesses: "...As if I'd tell a no-good, useless lout like you that. But... if you had to know... troll dolls. I-I really like troll dolls..."

World: "Planet Z, and soon... all of them."

Other: "Did I mention that I'm a great cook?"

Group(s): "Sign me up for the baddest you have, ahaha! And... make sure to keep me out of otherwise benevolent things. I have an evil reputation to maintain, you see."


"Aaaaaand... done. Here, take this piece of carbonized garbage from me..." With a bored sigh, a metal-clad hand nonchalantly passed off a flimsy piece of paper to an eager minion. "Is this really necessary?"

Upon hearing such a downhearted and lackluster tone, a minion (a rather chipper brainpod) wagged a red, synthetic claw dotingly. "Now, now, my Evil Emperor!" they piped up. Somehow the grumpy person they were talking to snorted aloud. Clearly the off-centered figure found the brainpod's tone... annoying. "You must fill out these papers, no matter how mundane, to keep on top of your evil game. We mustn't let the competition get a one-up, eh?"

"But I don't care about the competition," a dual-toned voice growled back. "They're nothing more than Grounders, wannabe hotshots, and all around filthy degenerates. If anything, these lowlifes and their petty ideologies disgust me to no end. I can't bother to spare time on these fools - and I find these monthly surveys an unnecessary chore. I. Don't. LIKE. Chores."

A sudden red glow bathed the brainpod and the unfortunate minion couldn't help but let out a small, surprised yelp. "O-Of course, My Evilness~!" it stammered to say, a claw wiping the surface of its glass casing. "I-If it were up to m-me, you wouldn't h-have to do these asinine things. However - " The poor thing never got to finish its sentence as an impatient hand wrapped around their cranial support column and yanked them.

Hard.

"However?" A deep scowl greeted the shaking brainpod and reddened eyes narrowed dangerously. "There should be no however! I make the rules! Me! The Evil Emperor Zurg! That's how it works around here, see! You're my minion, in my palace, and on my WORLD! YOU AND YOUR SNIVELING REVIEW BOARDS DO NOT ORDER ME AROUND! I hope I make myself crystallic fusion crystal clear~!"

While their master's tone ended on a rather upbeat note, the brainpod wasn't fooled. The Evil Emperor had that look in his eyes - that look of torture - and the brainpod cowered obediently. "Y-Yes! Yes, Evil Emperor Zurg! You make the rules around here! Yes, yes you do~! Not us lowly minions, nope! We just shamble around, catering to your every, evil - "

At the immediate bark the brain pod literally jumped into the air and zoomed out of there. "I'm beating it, I'm beating it!" it yelled before flailing out of the spacious chamber and out of a most painful demise.

Alone, and in silence, the Evil Emperor blew out a breath of stale air and just... slumped. "Craters, do I really hate those blasted personality surveys..." he grumbled.

They were almost up there with tax forms - which he never filled out, mind you. Still, that didn't make them anymore less bothersome to deal with! Hopefully he didn't have anything else to deal - SHLOOMP!

What was that!? The Evil Emperor flinched at being startled so rudely, and the angered tyrant almost went supernova to the point of critical. Thankfully all was averted before a sudden meltdown, the villain reaching over just a bit to pick up a delivered note. Strange, he hadn't sent a request for anything, but... Oh, well. Mail was mail, and he did like to receive things. The feeling gave him a brief buzz sometimes.

"Ah, yet another piece of garbage. How... delightful," the Evil Emperor moodily quipped. Putting on his reading glasses as the font was too small, he unfurled the neatly-folded note and quickly went to reading.

Oh, you have got to be joking...

The Evil Emperor just eyed this impudent piece of paper as if it had just called his mother a Sentillian gastropod. It was going to be one of those days, wasn't it?

"Wait... Who gave out our mailing address!? GRUUUUUUUBS!!"


Nickname: EEZ
Age Range: 4.5 billion years - 2012 A.D.
Contact Information: PMs on here will do
Roleplay Experience: RP'd the Evil Emperor Zurg for... too many years
Other Characters: None currently
How Did You Find Us?: Helped make the site

RP Quirks: Just as a forewarning, I don't RP the Evil Emperor Zurg as both a fool or a total, naive boob. I RP him as he should be: evil, nasty, and very irate. If you can't handle this type of personality, then I suggest you don't get offended when the Evil Emperor Zurg utterly deconstructs your characters - both canon or otherwise.