Kindle Andromeda
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Kindle Andromeda
by Pythonmelon Fri Dec 02, 2011 6:30 pm
Since he's shown up in my fanfic and the RP me and Fox are in, he deserves a page~
- Spoiler:
- Full name: Kindle Dustin Andromeda
Family: Sophia Andromeda- Mother, Garth Andromeda (Deceased)- Father
Gender: Male
Age: In VoTO, 16. Currently (Maybe) 18
Height: (To the ears) bipedal: 8'1" Quadrapedal: 3'6"
Weight: No idea
Tail length: 35 inches
Nationaltiy: Cryosian
Home planet: Cryos, moved to earth at age eight
Friends: Renee, Jonah, Alexa, Alan, Sophia
Enemies: Renee, all Zephyrites
Physical attributes: He has brute strength on his side. Resembles an extremely large earth dog. Can walk bipedal or quadrapedal (Prefers quad), Reddish/ light brown fur all over, green eyes
Personality: While he never really trusted Zephyrites because of the war between their planets, he was friendly towards Renee. He is cold and rather emotionless, but fun when he wants to be. In VoTO it was revealed that a brain tumor was growing in the center of the brain, causing him to act out towards Renee violently.
Some history: Not much is known about Kindle's past. He was a happy child that learned to beware but not judge Zephyrites from his father Garth. He spent all his years on Earth as good friends with Renee, Alexa, and Jonah.
Sometime between ages fifteen and sixteen a brain tumor roughly the size of a golf ball fromed inside his brain for unknown reasons. It caused bleeding from the ears, disorientation, a ringing headache, and violent thoughts, but he didn't tell his mother about it.
His father was a former Commander in the Star command Zeta division and was well respected by his underlings and even shared a few drinks with Renee's father. That is the cheif reason they were sent to Earth together. Garth resigned and went to war but was killed in action by an enemy sharpshooter. Learning this, Kindle finally acquired a target for his violece- Renee.
He attacked her and tore out her eye during the schools preformance of 'Vampire of the Opera'. In self defense Renee kicked Kindle into a ventilation fan, killing him.
And heres a picture: http://pythonmelon.deviantart.com/#/d4i35hj
Last edited by Pythonmelon on Fri Mar 23, 2012 3:24 pm; edited 1 time in total
Pythonmelon
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Pythonmelon
COLONEL- Posts : 5922
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Location : Zeta quadrant, planet Zephyr
Re: Kindle Andromeda
by Steel Thu Mar 22, 2012 7:36 pm
I read Renee's profile first, so came here to check out Kindle's. The very first thing I have to say is that if Kindle is a Shragarakian, he'd have to have a more R-sounding name like Senator Aarrfvox (canon spelling, in the credits of "A Zoo Out There") so I don't think the name Kindle would entirely fit, as well as the rest of his name, and his family's names. However, I just clicked the link to your DeviantArt to check out how Kindle looks like and... that's not a Shragarakian. xD In BLoSC, this is a Shragarakian. So since I'm sure you want to stick to Kindle's design, I'd just suggest you give his species a different name, so your readers don't get confused. ^^
I'm pretty sure that given the advanced technology available to them, they would have caught on to Kindle having a brain tumour fairly quickly and cured him of it. Unless he knew how to keep it secret that well... just how long did it take for the brain tumour to form?
And... if he died by being chopped to bits in a fan... that would have been pretty messy.... just how would he have been brought back to life as a cyborg? And why would Zurg of all people care about resurrecting some random kid who died on Earth?
Otherwise, like I said in Renee's profile, I like the idea of there being a war and people becoming friends even despite that, although I'm not sure how there can be a Zeta division of Star Command? Anyway, those are my two cents so far. I hope my suggestions help!
I'm pretty sure that given the advanced technology available to them, they would have caught on to Kindle having a brain tumour fairly quickly and cured him of it. Unless he knew how to keep it secret that well... just how long did it take for the brain tumour to form?
And... if he died by being chopped to bits in a fan... that would have been pretty messy.... just how would he have been brought back to life as a cyborg? And why would Zurg of all people care about resurrecting some random kid who died on Earth?
Otherwise, like I said in Renee's profile, I like the idea of there being a war and people becoming friends even despite that, although I'm not sure how there can be a Zeta division of Star Command? Anyway, those are my two cents so far. I hope my suggestions help!
Steel
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Re: Kindle Andromeda
by Pythonmelon Fri Mar 23, 2012 2:39 am
sorry w\for the mistakes -.- now i feel kind of dumb for that. and no idea when it comes to the RP, it wasn't really my idea. He avoided being caught with the braintumor by covering it up/ avoiding other people. The tumor started forming when he was roughly nine and started taking major effects when he was fifteen.
I'll be sure to rename the species, but it may take a while to think of something new.
I'll be sure to rename the species, but it may take a while to think of something new.
Pythonmelon
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Re: Kindle Andromeda
by Steel Sat Mar 24, 2012 3:56 pm
Oh, you don't have to apologise! I just thought I'd point out the inconsistencies I spotted to give you some critique so it can help you improve. And this was devised in a roleplay? Well, that's the good thing about that--if you're planning on including it in your story, you can always change things for the proper fic. 
Well, seeing as he's dog-like and Renee is cat-like, maybe you could give their species the scientific names for cat and dog respectively? I don't know, just a thought. Or, you could call him a Nuzonian, because that's the only BLoSC species off the top of my head I can recall only being mentioned in passing and never seen. Something like that! Glad I could help!
Well, seeing as he's dog-like and Renee is cat-like, maybe you could give their species the scientific names for cat and dog respectively? I don't know, just a thought. Or, you could call him a Nuzonian, because that's the only BLoSC species off the top of my head I can recall only being mentioned in passing and never seen. Something like that! Glad I could help!
Steel
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Re: Kindle Andromeda
by Pythonmelon Sat Mar 24, 2012 4:55 pm
Possibly. The fic has actually already been written, and a sequel, and a comic has been started. I've been editing and rewriting though, and changed the named of the planet to Cryos because it is mostly frozen
Pythonmelon
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Re: Kindle Andromeda
by Steel Sat Mar 24, 2012 5:19 pm
Usually, with my own writing, when I go back to look at it a couple of years later, I shake my head and wonder why I wrote that... So I think editing and rewriting a few bits can really help. And in a few years' time when you go back to reread it, you'll go edit again! That's just what us writers do, so welcome to our... hell. xDD
Ooh, I like Cryos. Such a chilly name~
Ooh, I like Cryos. Such a chilly name~
Steel
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Re: Kindle Andromeda
by Pythonmelon Sat Mar 24, 2012 5:23 pm
Yup, and thanks! Thats exactly how it was- i wrote the original story in sixth grade, rewrote it entirely this summer, and am editing like mad. Glad you like the name ^^
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Pythonmelon
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Re: Kindle Andromeda
by Steel Wed Apr 11, 2012 4:49 am
If you're still on the fence about how to redesign Kindle's dog-like race, I came upon this scene by chance in the beginning of "The Slayer" and thought you might be interested:
The dog-like alien in the middle is only a kid, but maybe it can give you some ideas on how to progress!
The dog-like alien in the middle is only a kid, but maybe it can give you some ideas on how to progress!
Steel
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Re: Kindle Andromeda
by Pythonmelon Wed Apr 11, 2012 9:29 am
oh, XD thanks! I've renamed the species Cryosians, so if thats been taken in the series please let me know. otherwise i think i've cleared it all up ^^
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Re: Kindle Andromeda
by Steel Sat Apr 14, 2012 12:43 am
As far as I know, it's free! Never heard it either, so there's an added bonus too. xD
Does that mean they won't be dog-like, or are you going to still try to connect their species to the whole "cat and dog" theory?
(Also, as an aside, I hope you're doing okay! I noticed your DA account was inactivated... D: If anything's wrong, please let us know!)
Does that mean they won't be dog-like, or are you going to still try to connect their species to the whole "cat and dog" theory?
(Also, as an aside, I hope you're doing okay! I noticed your DA account was inactivated... D: If anything's wrong, please let us know!)
Steel
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Re: Kindle Andromeda
by Pythonmelon Sat Apr 14, 2012 3:01 pm
thanks. And sorry about the deviantart thig, because my parents found out i had one and i wasnt supposed to. Hopefully people can still access my story, and if not I apologize greatly.
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Re: Kindle Andromeda
by Ranger-Nova Sat Apr 14, 2012 3:06 pm
We're glad you're okay - we were worried about you.
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Re: Kindle Andromeda
by Pythonmelon Sat Apr 14, 2012 3:10 pm
I wish I could come backso badly. If you wouldn't mind I'm writing a letter to everyone and if you could post it for me I would be extremely happy.
Pythonmelon
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Re: Kindle Andromeda
by Pythonmelon Sat Apr 14, 2012 3:14 pm
There is an...extremely faint chance that my parents will allow me to have a legitimate account. I have a friend (one of two who convinced me to join) whos mother doesn't allow him to do basically anything but lets him have an account. My parents may consult her but i may not get my computer back for up to two years.
Pythonmelon
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Re: Kindle Andromeda
by Ranger-Nova Sat Apr 14, 2012 3:16 pm
Whoa, that's tough. Will you still be able to post here, or aren't you allowed on the forum either?
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Re: Kindle Andromeda
by Pythonmelon Sat Apr 14, 2012 3:17 pm
im allowed here so thats good. Yeah they're a touch to protective of everything. My dad considered it a predatory site without even looking at it because of the name
Pythonmelon
COLONEL- Posts : 5922
Join date : 2011-11-20
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Re: Kindle Andromeda
by Ranger-Nova Sat Apr 14, 2012 3:20 pm
Aw, I'm sorry. *hugs* At least you can still post here.
Hey, if you want to go down to the chatbox we can talk about this more easily.
Hey, if you want to go down to the chatbox we can talk about this more easily.
Ranger-Nova
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Pythonmelon
COLONEL- Posts : 5922
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Location : Zeta quadrant, planet Zephyr
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